David's Story

As the semester draws to a close, and with just three visits left, I am finishing up the work on my inquiry project in my classroom. I am gathering the data, organizing it, and trying to make sense out of my findings- or decide if they even make sense. I am working specifically on my data analysis and trying to see a pattern or finding that emerges from it. With some help from my advisor, I saw something in my data that I don't know if I would have seen before. I knew that it was there, I just had not pin pointed it as something that had anything to do with my co-intern or I, and the work we had been doing in our placement.

In the past, my placements have been so obvious about the work I have done and the effect I had. I worked to tutor a young girl in kindergarten, and saw her read her first book, when I originally she could not recognize all 26 letters. In another placement, and young girl in danger of failing, passed the second grade above level in reading, because of my work with her in UFLI. These were obvious ways in which I had impacted a student. In this placement, I feel that it has been most beneficial to me, but I have no felt that sense that I have made a huge difference. However, the evidence was just not that obvious.

After going through the data and organizing it, I can see definite marked improvements in every student who we worked with in UFLI. And that was honestly to be expected I thought. The students we were tutoring were generally smart, just lacked motivation. No one who was in danger of being held back, and most of them were actually reading on or above grade level. And we did help these students, and they all are reading above grade level now, and I recognize that as a great thing. 

But the real sense of accomplishment came when my teacher helped me notice David. David is a young boy in my kindergarten class. He has a heart of gold, and is a genuinely sweet and caring child. David lacks focus, and was not excelling in class. He was not in danger of being held back because he was performing at grade level for all evaluations, however his class work was sloppy and he was extremely distracted. He did not display quality work. However, inside, you knew David could do it, he just needed a little attention. He was originally in a reading group with our mentor teacher, along with a few other struggling students. She was applying an intervention method, versus our normal UFLI because these students were reading well below grade level. When I began to implement my positive behavior system with my groups, our teacher decided to do it with certain students as well. David was one. She did not do it religiously or in the same way as I did, but she did it occasionally and when she did she noticed that David was in the wrong group, and really deserved to be in one with Holly or I, he just did not show this side of himself often enough for us to know. So, we made David apart of Holly's group. She implemented the system I had introduced her to, and by the end of their time together David had improved one level. This was not the big results we had seen in other students, but improvement was good in any form. I saw this, checked it off as a good thing, and moved on. When I took a second look at David however, I saw something much more then just a number in my chart.

David's entire attitude has changed since Holly and I began working with him. He is confident in himself and his abilities. He answers questions in class, and actually volunteers to answer. He has been promoted to table captain because he is showing responsibility for himself, his things and his work. He takes his time more often, to ensure that the work he is producing is quality. He has become a role model for other students in his group for what is expected of a good reader. Although his scores have improved in a way that might make him seem like a success story, he absolutely is. And in one of the most amazing ways you could be.

So looking back at this placement, I no longer see the benefit it had for only me as a future teacher. I see the impact that we made. And I can say that I touched a child's life, and that is the feeling that makes me do what I do. 

Reflection is working!

This week seemed very strange, and it was for many reasons. One was that we did not have practicum on Monday, and jumped right in on a Tuesday. So did all of the students and teachers, but with a shortened week, everyone's routine is thrown off slightly. And if that wasn't enough, we had also had the entire week previous to that off as well for the students' spring break. The first week back from a long break is always hard, especially for five year olds. We spent the majority of the week trying to get back into our routines and reminding everyone of the procedures. The students were trying to readjust, definitely, but I realized how much this type of week affected me too, as a teacher.

Similarly to my blog previous about the class right before spring break, in which our routine was thrown off, it was hard to get students back on track following a week like that, and us as teachers as well. I spent the two days this week trying to keep myself on track and level-headed because I had remembered how I had reacted the week prior, and had my reflection there to remind me how it made me feel as a teacher, and what I wanted to change. Because I had revisited my blogs prior to this week, I was reminded of that reflection, and was able to prepare myself for the situation I knew I would be in.

The students were particularly loud and off-task this week, and I feel like I did a good job keeping my temper to a minimum even though I was on edge from being out of practice. When students did things such as spoke out of turn or  tapped their pencil, ordinarily something that does not bother me, but I knew would irritate me on a week such as this, I reminded myself to take a moment, and simply remind them of the rules, or asked them to stop.

I definitely had my moments, and was not perfect the whole time. My teacher was in a bit of a panic because she had not finished her report cards that were due on Friday. She gave the entire class to me and my co-teacher, and we taught every lesson on Thursday. This was a long day after the way the students were acting, and the week we were coming back from, and we have never taught the entire class, all day long before. I definitely became irritated and at one point, the students were simply not listening to either myself or Holly, and we were working on a particularly difficult assignment. I shouted to the class "the next person who talks is getting their clipped moved, no matter what the reason". At the moment, I immediately felt guilty. I did not like being so harsh or being so strict with the kids. However, looking back, I realized that it may have been necessary at the moment. It was their third day back, and I needed to be able to expect them to be better behaved. Also, we were working on something important and a new concept, so it was necessary that they listen carefully. However, I still didn't like the way I felt about being so strict. I think that in the future, if I am teaching the lessons I am prepared for, and they are my students, I will not have to be so strict because I will have more control, however, I also need to learn that it is okay to command my class and take control when it is needed. I do not always have to be the teacher that is never strict. I have expectations and the students need to work to meet them.

Overall, I could see already how my blog was helping me as a teacher, and how my reflection had already forced me to grow and progress. And all-in-all I loved that feeling. I felt much more in control. more useful, and like I was being the teacher I wanted to be.

Revisiting With Reflection

What I wanted to improve on in my blogs was simply the act of reflecting. I have done a lot of restating and recounting in the past, but have not actually written much about how it made me feel, or how I want to improve my actions. Revisiting some of my blogs, I see where I was lacking in the reflection, because even now,  I know why I was feeling a certain way or what I was thinking about while writing those blog entries, but know that those reading it do not! I also realize it is hard to reflect a lot when I was previously writing my blogs based on my readings, and not authentically writing about things I saw. However, I still feel it is important to look back and see how I could improve some of my previous entries. So, I have decided to re-do one of my old blogs, and in bold, add in the reflection I could have included at the time or include now that those situations have ended.

Differentiation continues

As we continue to read Tomlinson & Imbeau's book on differentiation, I continue to wonder how it can apply itself in the kindergarten class that I am in. This week was our first installment of the lesson study, and our lesson on gravity was taught to a class of kindergartners. We did not have any differentiation planned for this lesson, and it showed when we taught it to Mrs. Campbell's class. However, even we had planned for differentiation, would it have worked since we did not know her students?

I wonder if planning blanketed differentiation will really help a class, or will it need to be individualized?

In my class, I know the kids well by now. I know who I need to give extra attention to, who will run the lesson if I let them, who not to sit next to each other, etc. However, we did not know Mrs. Campbell's class. I we won't know Mrs. Kirk's either. When we are planning for our differentiation, I wonder how we will go about making sure that her students can complete the lesson. 

I know for a fact that Mrs. Kirk has a student who spends half of his days in a fully contained special education classroom, and is being labeled as having language barriers. Would we think to plan for someone like him if I did not already know him?

When we went through the planning process for these unknown classrooms, I felt helpless, and looked even more helpless when we were in the actual classroom. I did not like the feeling of being out of control because I focused on one child I thought needed my attention, when all the while it was a student at an entirely different table. I felt that I did not learn anything from that experience, except that differentiation is definitely something that you need to know your students to apply. 
I think that some worksheets and programs that come with differentiation already in place, like the spelling worksheets my teacher sends home to different groups of students, cannot possibly plan for each individual child. As I read through our wall discussion about how important differentiation is to us as teachers and our students, I am beginning to realize how costly it will be on time, but also seeing that it was so beneficial to many of us as students, and how important it is to us all to include it in our future classrooms,

Our teacher continues to use these differentiated worksheets and I think that in some circumstances they make a lot of sense. But I also feel that they do not always work. A general worksheet designed at three different levels by a company cannot always apply to a classroom. I think that a lot of differentiation must be applied individually, on a student-to-student basis. I don't like the worksheets we use and I think that this is something I will try to avoid in my future classroom.
Our readings are helping me to become more aware of the need for differentiation and helping me to see that it is possible in my classroom. 

So even after all of my readings and teaching, I am still not convinced that you can plan for differentiation with out knowing the students. You can plan for certain levels but individuals need more individual planning. However, I think this is a good thing and means that you need to actually know your students, and shows that teachers still have a place in schools, and it is an important one. 

I do think that differentiation is something I will use and as we continued our lesson study, I felt that even more strongly. However I still struggle with the time constraints, but seeing our struggling students understand and use gravity throughout their day made me feel really great as a teacher, and made me feel like the time we put into the lesson was worth it.

I feel like this blog as a whole is much more informative and beneficial to me as a teacher, a student, and to those who are reading this, and this is why I feel like I want to continue to reflect deeper, and why I feel that a blog or journal is not something you use or write just once, and never look at again.